June 16, 2009

Catching Up

Yes, I know! It's been over a month. I really don't know where the time goes, but it wasn't hanging around here much until now. Today was the last day of school and as I sit here catching my breath, I can cross off two graduation ceremonies, 13 handmade teacher/therapist gifts, and 8 sets of baked goods for 8 different bus drivers and aides. I'm looking around my neglected home right now — the dust bunnies are all lined up along the baseboards of the floors and the mounds of paper artwork where my kitchen counters used to be is making me a little queasy — like I'm seeing it for the first time and haven't been walking by it all week.

There's this overwhelming need to run screaming from the house, call it panic maybe, but it hovers. Too much stuff! Yes, that, but also My god, my children are done with preschool! and They're home with nothing planned for the next two weeks! and Time to get John potty-trained!

About that: we've been making small steps. Small, really insignificant steps, but we're ready to blaze ahead. We've got an intensive 3-day program planned at the end of next week and by george or by golly, at $45/hour (at least funded by a grant) it better work.

Yep, I think it's panic pure and simple. Routine is everything: apparently for exhausted moms too. The thought of not having to go anywhere or do anything or make anything tomorrow...people! What am I supposed to do with that? Wish we could all sleep in (obviously I'm delusional!) or go to a pool (impossible alone) or hang out all day at home and go absolutely nowhere (oh wait! we can! and it's supposed to rain!)