She Reads!

It only took three+ months, but I've actually finished a book. "The Elephant in the Playroom" was perfect for me: a collection of very short essays written by moms and dads parenting kids with special needs. If you're feeling alone in your everyday world — not in Blog Land, because there's great company here — then I highly recommend it. It's the type of book I looked for when we first started down this path.

Maybe unlike me, you'll get this book and place it on top of the hopeless pile of unread fluff magazines on your nightstand and reach for it instead. I know when I finally retrieved it from underneath an old People Magazine I was hooked.

It's Okay

We're not sure when it began, but Sam has started to say It's okay whenever he is hesitant or scared or sad. This could be as simple as oatmeal for breakfast instead of the usual cheerios: It's okay (not what I expected, but I like oatmeal too); or after dropping one of his Thomas trains: It's okay (oh no, I'll pick you up!). Wearing a particularly nasty diaper: It's okay (can you change me?); or upon arrival at a new friend's house: It's okay (as long as you stay with me, mommy).

I'm told that this is fairly typical, self-calming behavior. After all, how many of us say the same thing to ourselves as we go through our day, just not out loud?

It breaks my heart, though, to hear the vulnerability in his little boy voice, the sadness and fear of new things: It's okay. I hold him tight and tell him with as much certainty I can muster Baby, it is okay. And much of the time, it is. It is okay and he's a little braver and a little more sure of himself each time he says it. And isn't that what it's all about? Talking ourselves through the tough moments.

I'm a little braver too — I've been saying It's okay for some time — one whole year since our diagnosis.

Dear Blog Land,

We are still around, we are just insanely busy. I am hard-pressed, though, to explain how my last post on this blog was nearly a month ago, how my new banner says "July" and yet this is my first July post. Ah well, pull up a chair. I can start with the obvious and move on down:

1. Having twins is a full-time job.
2. Being a freelancer is also a full-time job.
3. Driving two children to two different places every day is a full-time job.
4. Battling health insurance companies for coverage of badly needed therapies and vitamin cocktails is a full-time job.
5. Hosting my two older stepsons for a month is, really, a full-time job.
6. Planning a birthday party for twin almost-three-year-olds is turning into a full-time job.
7. Worrying about the upcoming school year shouldn't be a full-time job yet, but apparently I feel I need another full-time job.
8. Not following Weight Watchers has become my full-time...occupation.
9. Catching up on my blog-reading (nevermind blog-writing) is a full-time job.
10. Worrying about all of my jobs? Yep, you got it.

With exhaustion and an eye on Fall,
KAL